Trigger warning: this article discusses mental health issues and suicide. If these are triggering for you, please avoid reading. Take care of yourself. 💛
I have an overwhelming passion for social media.
It’s been a huge part of my life every day for 18 years and has even become a major part of my career.
While I’ve loved most platforms at one time or another, Instagram was hands-down my thing. What started in 2013 as a journey to keep myself accountable on a weight loss journey organically turned into an award-winning blog with readers from 105 countries. …
This was the first piece of prose I ever wrote, and it so clearly shows how alone I felt at that moment.
When I wrote this, I was going on 8 weeks averaging 3–4 hours of sleep per night (I usually get 8–9), and I had reached out to multiple doctors for help.
At the time, I was on a thyroid-related medication that exacerbated my anxiety symptoms. It took my normal heart palpitations, shaking legs, and insomnia to an entirely different level. I was on edge and delirious every second of every day — it was bad.
I reached out…
Back in April, I started posting on Medium as a way to process this funk I was in. It was more than a funk, really, but I’m not sure how to put it into words. “Dark place” might be more appropriate. Writing on Medium helped me get through that month, but it wasn’t enough to pull me out of my dark place. In fact, it only got worse come May.
I was going on 46 days with little to no sleep and was struggling with extreme burnout, anxiety, and depression. …
One of my favorite things ever is getting a coffee date with a friend.
Yesterday afternoon, I actually met up with a friend for the first time since COVID started and it was perfect. We went to a cute coffee shop that was the epitome of Portland: it was a quaint little shop, literally built into and hidden within a residential neighborhood and had a variety of housemade syrups, local treats, and ample outdoor seating. We sat outside, sipping on iced tea and soaking up the sun and clear blue skies. We sat there for two hours, catching up in…
I don’t drink. At all.
Like, I had one sip of champagne at our wedding and still kind of regret it.
Yet, there are more times than I can count that I wake up feeling like I’m dealing with a hangover worse than the morning after a college party. …
I feel this sharp pain in my chest.
My heart is racing, skipping what feels like a million beats at once.
My hands are shaking and my legs are restless.
I’m breathing harder, blinking faster.
“It’s just nerves,” I tell myself. “You’re not dying.”
I’m sitting on the couch, computer in hand yet staring blankly straight ahead of me. On the outside, I probably look calm as a cucumber, but on the inside I’m questioning every decision I made in the past 6 hours.
After work, I felt this pull to create a LinkedIn page for Behind the Facade. I…
If you’re anything like me — a self-proclaimed workaholic who often works more than the expected 40 hours per week and thinks about work well beyond that — you likely experience work-related stress regularly.
As someone who struggles with underlying anxiety and depression, this work stress can easily snowball into burnout, insomnia and other challenges if I don’t take preventative measures.
Until recently, I didn’t feel comfortable acknowledging how overwhelmed, much less completely burnt out, I was, much less talk about anything remotely related to mental health. I kept it to myself because I was worried that it would make…
When my family was visiting recently, we talked about going to a very special basketball game: my husband’s favorite team vs. our home team in the playoffs.
If we had been in the same situation a couple years ago, I would have gone with no hesitation. But now? It’s like we’re living in a different world.
The anxiety started as soon as we threw the idea out there:
How many people are going to be there?
Will everyone be vaccinated?
Even though I’m vaccinated, I don’t want to risk getting anyone else sick.
Do I really need to be there…
Four years ago, I lost my best friend.
I held her in my arms as she took her last breath, tears streaming down my face and ragged breaths struggling to get out.
Although we knew it was coming, I never said goodbye — not really.
She was with me through so many moments, big and small — graduating college, moving to the Bay Area, starting my first “real” job, falling in love with my husband, moving to Oregon — and she continued to be, even after she left this world.
For all these years, no matter where we’ve lived, her…
TW: anxiety, depression, mental illness
I did something.
Today, I rebranded the publication and podcast that was Better Than Therapy into something even more powerful, raw and real: Behind the Facade.
I loved the name Better Than Therapy, but no one really saw or understood the irony behind it. After a lengthy conversation with a loved one who brought this to my attention, I realized the name was also dangerous for others — and for myself. …